Crazy Chicks and Perfect Dudes
by MyTrueObsession
Summary: Victoria Smith has never been comfortable in the presence of guys. Nor has she ever been forced to become the Queen of the newly-formed Hostess Club. And when these so-called Hostesses end up being crazier than the original Hosts, it's up to Victoria to deal with them. *Re-done! Original Title "Just Another Student at Ouran Academy"*
1. Starting Today, You are a Host!- Part 1

**A/N: **Thank you for coming to read this adopted fic, and I apologize for those who long awaited the arrival of this re-done fic. It was Beta'd by LilMissCaprice, and if there are any grammatical errors, please excuse them! Thanks, and onto the fic!

* * *

We stood outside the Third Library's doors. It was filled to the brim with students, all them _talking._ Isn't this a library, a safe haven for studying!? Seemed more like an online chat-room than anything else.

Haruhi beside me sighed. As I looked to her, I asked myself the same question I had all day. Doesn't this girl even make the slightest bit of effort to how she looks? I mean, come _on_! Any one of these damn rich people could mistake Haruhi for a dude! I almost did when I first saw her this morning.

She shut the door and we walked away begrudgingly, hearing the soft bang echo in the empty hallways.

"Maybe we should find somewhere else to study?" I suggested, already knowing the answer. We've tried all afternoon, and the libraries and classrooms seemed occupied with the rich kids. It didn't hurt to try, though.

"I guess we have to." Haruhi responded.

We started walking up the crimson, grand staircase to check for a quiet place on the second floor. No matter how many times I walk the school grounds, I never seem to get tired of the beautiful architecture. I swear, the floor is so clean I could eat on it! And I did... once. Call it curiosity.

The silence was interrupted by Haruhi speaking. "This place has four library rooms. You'd think that one of them would be quiet."

I hummed in agreement as we came to a stop in front of a window. A flock of birds flew past the Academy, and we continued to walk again.

"How are things in heaven, Mom?" Oh, she's talking to her mother again. Then again, I shouldn't say anything... after all, I _did_ eat off the floor. She continued mumbling things, probably not realizing that I'm standing right next to her... again. "I can't believe it's been ten years already. I'm beginning to think that rich kids come to school just to have a good time."

We soon came to a stop in front of a set of doors. Above it there was a sign, written in, of course, Japanese.

Okay, I'll admit this much: I'm English. I only came here a year ago, when my older sister decided that she would no longer live in England, and came over to Japan with her husband, which is where I am at now. Of course, I wanted to tag along with her, desperately wanting to appease my obsession with anime, Japanese culture, and language. Heck, I'm probably more into Japan than half of the people at Ouran! I'm not exactly fluent in Japanese, though, but I can understand most things. So close to mastering Japanese... too bad I can't read it. Like, at all. Not yet, anyway, since Haruhi's teaching me how to.

"An abandoned music room... I guess this is about the only place where we can study in peace and quiet." She said, pulling the handle down and opening it. We were met by a bright white light, forcing me to shield my eyes. What the hell!? Am I dead? **I'm too young to**- a rose petal just went inside my mouth. I began coughing, shoving my finger in my mouth in an attempt to be rid of that damn rose petal. Guess that means I'm not dead?

After recovering from that unwanted ordeal, my eyes widened and I dived behind Haruhi. I ducked down a bit, seeing as how I'm only slightly taller than her.

"Welcome!" About six voices said. All guy voices. My eyes widened further, to the point of feeling as if they were going to pop out of its own sockets. Just my luck... we come into a room full of _boys._ I'm not a confident girl at all, and I'm extremely socially awkward around boys, and dare I say it- guy-shy. So this is like my own personal hell.

I peeked out and looked over Haruhi's shoulder, wondering if they could see me.

There was a handsome blonde sitting in a chair, facing us at an angle, which somehow added a certain prince-like quality to him. My eyes wandered over to the other blonde. He was quite small, compared to the other guys around him. He was smiling cheekily at us, making me think that he seemed kind of childish, but not too childish for his smile to be gorgeous- just enough to make him look sweet. Above him there stood an abnormally tall, dark haired guy. His body was faced away from us, but he looked at Haruhi and I from the corner of his eye. Immediately, I could tell that he's the silent person of the group. In front, or rather behind, the tall guy, stood another dark haired guy. This one wore glasses and his arms were folded, a gentle smile on his lips. I don't know how to put it, exactly, but he had that sort of cool aura around him, although it did put me on edge a bit. Finally, my eyes roamed over to two red-headed twins, their hair in a similar style to the small blonde. They grinned mischievously at us.

Of course the world hates me! The universe just _had_ make these guys incredibly sexy! I hid once again behind Haruhi. I was sure that they didn't see me, as their attention was focused on Haruhi.

"Only those with excellent social standing and those from filthy rich families are lucky enough to spend their time here at the elite private school, Ouran Academy. The Ouran Host Club is where the school's handsomest boys with too much time on their hands entertain young ladies, who also have _way_ too much time on their hands. Just think of it as Ouran Academy's elegant playground for the super-rich and beautiful." The prince-like blonde said.

"This is a Host Club?" Haruhi questioned whilst squishing me against the door that had suddenly shut, sealing us inside the room with the sexy guys.

"Oh, wow, it's a boy." The twins said. Seriously? These twins talk at the same time too? Darn it! How I wish I had a twin...

"Hikaru, Kaoru, I believe this young man is in the same class as you, isn't he?" Glasses asked the twins. Oh yeah, they couldn't see me squashed up against the door now, could they?

"Yeah but he's shy. He doesn't act very sociably, so we don't know much about him." The twins shrugged.

"Hm." Glasses said quietly. I'm so glad that I'm really good at listening, otherwise I would never have heard them whisper from the door. "Well, that wasn't very polite. Welcome to the Ouran Host Club, Mr. Honor Student."

Suddenly, Tall Blonde blocked my view of Glasses. "What? You must Haruhi Fujioka! You're the exceptional honor student we've heard about."

"How did you know my name?" Haruhi said. Really? Didn't he just say that they've heard about you? She seemed a bit uncomfortable, though. Psshh. Not like she's squashed up against the door. Yeah. She's still squashing me. I sighed very quietly. This was totally Haruhi Fujioka.

"Why, you're infamous! It's not every day that a commoner gains entrance into our Academy." Hello! Not that I want to be here, but c'mon! I'm an honor student too! "You must have an audacious nerve to fight your way into this school as an honor student, Mr. Fujioka."

"Well, er, thank you... I guess." Haruhi mumbled. Okay. I'm kind of glad they aren't talking about me now.

"You're welcome!" Blondie said, grabbing Haruhi's shoulder. I jumped at how close he suddenly was. "You're a hero to other poor people, Fujioka. You've shown the world that even a poor person can excel in the elite Private Academy!" Someone please tase him... He's starting to creep me out.

Haruhi started to shuffle away to the left, and I was left standing in front of the door, just behind Blondie. I'm glad he can't see me.

Blondie strutted over to Haruhi, practically dancing. "It must be hard for you to constantly be looked down upon by others."

"Well, look what we have here." Glasses said as he looked at me. I stood by, looking like my usual shy self, but now, etched onto my face, was fear. It didn't help that I wasn't in uniform either. It clearly gave away that I was an honor student, too.

I was wearing a black and white striped jumper that stopped at my elbows, black skinny jeans, and a pair of bright crimson flats. My hair, a dark cherry brown that could practically be considered black, was slightly longer than Haruhi's hair before she cut it. My fringe stopped just before covering my eyes, parted in random directions, and the rest of my hair was curled into perfect ringlets, the top half pulled back and held by a ruby rose clip.

"I think you're taking this poor thing too far." Haruhi interrupted, moving back to her place in front of me. I was thankful for her actions.

"Spurned, neglected. But that doesn't matter now." Blondie said, suddenly back next to Haruhi. He flung his arm around Haruhi's shoulders, not noticing that I was there once more. "Long live the poor! We welcome you poor man, to our world of beauty!"

"I'm outta here." Haruhi deadpanned. She turned around and walked towards the door while I stood frozen to the spot. Everyone besides Blondie was look at me. Well, until Cutesy grabbed Haruhi's arm.

"Hey! Come back here, Haru-chan! You must be like some super hero! That's so cool!" Cutesy pulled Haruhi back towards the other side of some fancy looking vase.

Glasses came up to me, looking me up and down as if I were some sort of specimen. Honestly, I'm already freaked out enough as it is!

"Hm... Mr. Fujioka's girlfriend, perhaps?"

My eyes widened for the umpteenth time today. What the heck would lead them to think that _I_ would go out with _Haruhi_!? Don't get me wrong, Haruhi's awesome, but I _definitely_ do not like girls!

"N-no! It's not like that!" Haruhi said from cutesy's grip, while my jaw just dropped. Haruhi then turned to face Cutesy. "I'm not a hero, I'm an honor student. And who are you calling 'Haru-chan'!?" She yelled in his face.

Blondie, of course, heard about what Glasses asked me (He finally noticed me!), and decided to think upon it. "I would never have imagined that the famous scholar would be so openly gay."

Okay, I finally got him to notice me, and _this_ is what he says!?

Haruhi turned to look at Blondie slowly. "Openly... what?"

Seriously, if I wasn't so petrified of the amount of guys then I swear I would have laughed at Haruhi's reaction and at how everyone in this so-called "Host Club" thought Haruhi was a dude. I started to back away from the Host Club, hoping I could get out of this situation.

"So tell me what type of guys you're into. Do you like the strong, silent-type?" Blondie motioned towards the tall dude, while the Gingers held a frame up around him with dark blue roses on it. They quickly moved on to the next person as Blondie kept rolling them off.

"The boy Lolita?" Cutesy was suddenly surround by pink roses.

"How about the mischievous types?" This time Cutesy held up the frame around the Gingers. Oh, great. The one kind of people that I don't really get along with that much... and the sexy twins had to be them, didn't they? The sexiness only intensified when they were surrounded by orange and light blue roses.

"Or the cool type?" Gingers held the frame up again for Glasses. Glasses got purple roses... my favorite color. Maybe I might get along with Glasses... if he doesn't ask me too many questions like the first one.

Haruhi stuttered, "I-It's not like that! I was just looking for a quiet place to study!" She was getting dangerously close to the vase, while I felt the door directly behind me.

"And where do you think you're going?" The Gingers appeared on either side of me. I jumped and walked back so I was in line with Haruhi, well, right next her. Gingers walked towards me as if there was nothing wrong with the world, scrutinizing my appearance with their eyes.

"Or maybe..." Blondie gently put his hand underneath Haruhi's chin. Seriously, can a taser just fall from the ceiling? Please? "You're into a guy like me? What'dya say?"

Haruhi squeaked and moved backwards, I moved back with her, as the Gingers were getting too close for comfort.

Haruhi and I bumped into something, and when we turned to see what it was, the horror was written on our faces. The expensive vase that I was looking at earlier started falling to the ground, and when we both reached for it, my hand hit Haruhi's arm, who was just _millimeters_ away from reaching the vase. If only I hadn't hit Haruhi's arm! That vase would probably still be in one piece!

It smashed to the ground and shattered into a million pieces, and I winced from just the sound of it. Somehow, I knew that there would be some serious repercussions for this.

We both leaned over the pedestal, staring at the broken vase, willing for it to just magically revert to its original form, unharmed.

"Aw~w." The Gingers said, coming up behind us.

"We were going to feature that Renaissance Vase at an upcoming school auction." The Ginger with a lower voice said. I'm still not sure which one that was yet.

"Now you've done it, commoners! The bidding on that vase was supposed to start at eight million yen."

"**What!?** Eight million yen!?" Haruhi and I exclaimed. It's like this Club was just _waiting_ for something like this to happen! I would _never_ leave something so expensive out in the open, vulnerable to anything out there. "How many thousand yen is that? How many thousands are in eight million?"

We stood up right from the pedestal. "Uh, I'm gonna have to pay you back..." Haruhi said, her voice strained.

"With what money?" The Gingers deadpanned, looking at each other and shrugged. Damn it! They were perfectly symmetrical. Oh, how Death the Kid would _love_ to meet these two! "You can't even afford a school uniform."

"What's with the grubby outfit you've got on, anyway?" The younger sounding Ginger asked. Alright, he's now Ginger Number One, the one that sounded older is now Ginger Number Two.

I heard a clink behind us. I turned around, seeing Glasses pick up a large piece of broken shard, bringing it up to his face to get a better look at it. Oh, I could just _feel_ that he was enjoying this!

"Well, what do you think we should do, Tamaki?"

Haruhi and I gasped as we looked towards Blondie, or "Tamaki," as Glasses called him. Tamaki looked a bit more serious than before, just the tiniest bit, though. He sat back on his chair and crossed a leg over the other. "There's a famous saying you may have heard, Fujioka and nameless honor student."

I was praying that it wasn't the saying I was thinking of.

"'When in Rome, you should do as the Romans do!'" Oh _shit._ It was. He pointed an accusing finger at us. "Since you have no money, then you can pay us with your body. That means that starting today, you two are the Host Club's dogs!"

Haruhi and I stood there, dumbfounded. It's now official. The universe hates me!

"I don't know if I can handle this Mom..." Haruhi muttered. Of course, only me with my hearing could understand what she was saying. The Gingers leaned in, close to my face, making me get super self-conscious. Tamaki waved a hand in front of our faces "I've been captured by a bunch of boys that are calling themselves a host club."

"Poke, poke." Cutesy said as he poked Haruhi's arm.

Moments later, Haruhi promptly collapsed in front of my feet, making my back up a little in surprise.

With Haruhi passed out, the boys looked up at me. I immediately jumped, imagining that I probably looked like a frightened doe caught in the headlights.

"And you must be the other honor student, Miss Victoria Rose Smith." Glasses said, suddenly whipping a small black book in front of him from God-knows-where.

I nodded timidly, stepping back a couple of paces. "B-but p-please, just call me T-Tori..." I stuttered.

"Ah! What a fine name for such a beautiful princess!" Tamaki said, grabbing my hand and putting it right in front of his face. I could feel his breath on my hand, and it was sort of uncomfortable, but it wasn't, at the same time. My breath hitched while I was frozen to the spot.

The two gingers put their arms around my shoulders, pushing Tamaki away by the face. "Stop being such a perv, boss." They languidly stated.

"Whaa?" He gasped, stumbling back a bit.

The gingers turned to me, making me seize up again. "How would you like to play a game with us?"

What kind of sickos are these guys!? "A-a game...?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah!" They said, letting me go. They had something else to say, but before I could hear it, I fainted on the spot.

* * *

I woke up in, sitting in a chair, against the wall, doing exactly what I would do if I were home. Back against an armrest, legs hanging over the other, my hands on my stomach, and head resting lightly on the back of the armchair.

I rubbed my eyes, careful not to smudge the little make-up that I wore.

And I looked out onto the club room that I was in just before I fainted. Except, this time, there were sofas and tables and chairs all around the room, or did I just fail to notice this earlier? What scare me more is that they were filled with... girls. Surely, this wasn't the Host Club I was in earlier. But it was. I mentally slapped myself, thinking that the name should've given away that they would be catering to girls.

As I looked around, I could see various Host Club members chatting to different types of ladies. Kyoya was entertaining three girls, and as I looked over to a certain coffee table and sofa that had the most guests, I found that I could easily understand what they were saying. Well, it helped that they were close.

"Tamaki-kun, what's your favorite song?" A girl asked.

"What song? The one that reminds me of you, of course." Tamaki said, in a surprisingly enchanting tone.

"I baked you a cake today. Would you like to taste it?" Another girl asked, grasping Tamaki's attention from the other girl.

"Only if you feed it to me, darling." Tamaki said, taking hold of the girl's chin and tilting her head up to look him in the eyes.

Okay, first order of business when I get home: Buy a taser. This guy is going to scar me for life, otherwise. I swirled around in my seat so I was sitting normally as I observed Tamaki's hosting.

"Oh, wow, you're so dreamy!" The girl said, closing her eyes to bask in his "Princely Glory."

"May I have a word with you, Tamaki?" A girl said from beside him, her dark cherry hair flowing so straight you could mistake her hair for cherry colored pencils. "I've recently heard the Host Club is keeping a little kitten without a pedigree."

"Two, actually. But I don't know if I'd call them that. Oh, speak of the devil!" Tamaki said, looking at Haruhi who was walking in with a brown paper bag in her arms. "Thanks for doing the shopping, little piglet. Did you get everything on our list?"

Haruhi sweat dropped. "What? Piglet?"

The gingers held a sign below Haruhi which said... "Fujioka, Haruhi (Host Club Dog)," if I am reading this correctly. As I said earlier, Haruhi is teaching me to read a little bit of Japanese writing.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Tamaki said pulling a jar of instant coffee out of the paper bag. "What _is_ this?"

You have got to be kidding me.

"Just what it looks like. It's coffee." Haruhi said.

"I've never seen this brand before. Is it the kind that's already ground?" Tamaki inquired.

Haruhi just stared. "What do you mean? It's instant coffee."

"It's instant?" Two of Tamaki's other customers asked, tilting their heads to the left.

"Whoa! I've heard of this before. It's commoners coffee. You just add hot water!" Tamaki exclaimed about as excitedly as a kid in a candy store.

"I didn't know there _was_ such a thing!" One of the earlier customers said, leaning forward cautiously.

"So it's true, then. Commoners don't even have enough time to grind their own coffee beans." The other girl said.

The group of girls that had suddenly formed nodded.

Suddenly, Glasses, the Gingers, and all the other girls formed around Tamaki. "Commoners are pretty smart."

"One hundred grams for three hundred yen." Ginger two said.

"That's a lot less money than we usually pay." The other Ginger said.

"I'll go back and buy something else!" Haruhi stated, clearly annoyed. "Excuse me for not getting the expensive coffee..."

Tamaki put his hand up, continuing to stare with fascination at the coffee. "No. I'll keep it."

The girls jaw dropped, each and every one of them muttering a "Huh?"

Tamaki stood up with his princely demeanor, stating, "I'm going to give it a try." Holding the coffee up high, it looked like he was holding an imaginary scepter. "I will drink this coffee!"

Everyone (excluding Glasses and Haruhi) looked at Tamaki with admiration, clapping for him... the idiots. It's _just_ coffee! It won't kill you! I think...

"Alright Haruhi, get over here and make some of this commoner's coffee." Tamaki ordered, moving by the table next to the window.

"I hate all these damn rich people..." Haruhi muttered. I almost burst out laughing! Seems like she's picked up my little nickname for these guys. I giggled to myself.

"Oh, Tamaki, now you're taking the joke too far. Your palette won't be able to stomach that crap. You don't have to drink it because he bought it." The cherry haired girl said, she being the only girl who had not followed Tamaki over to the tables.

"Huh?" Haruhi said as she looked down at the girl.

"I'm sorry," She said, turning to give Haruhi a slightly disturbing smile. "I was talking to myself."

"Uh..." Haruhi looked at her, the paper bag tucked safely in her arms.

"Haruhi!" Tamaki called.

"I'm coming." Haruhi said before walked over to the already heated water. She put a spoonful of the coffee in each cup, pouring the water in a cup at a time.

Again, the Ginger held up a sign, but this time I could only read one word of it... coffee. Okay, from that, I can kind guess that the sign said something close to a coffee demonstration. I give up, I'll have to get Haruhi to teach me some more tonight, after we've done our homework.

"Here." Haruhi said, passing Tamaki a tray with four cups filled with instant coffee.

"Let the tasting begin!" Tamaki said.

"I'm scared that if I drink this, my father will yell at me..." Another girl said.

"What if I let you drink it from my mouth?" Tamaki seductively asked, suddenly in the girl's face. He had her leaned back on one leg, the other practically in the sky. It flashed everything that was under her skirt. I was suddenly thankful that I wasn't on that side.

"Well, then I would drink it." She said, starry-eyed. All the other girls went crazy, squealing like little piglets.

I'll say this now- these girls are _definitely_ otakus. The Club members obviously use this to their advantage.

"This is ridiculous." Haruhi said as I nodded in agreement.

"So, you're good friends with Haruhi?" Glasses said from right next to me, startling me.

"Er, y-yeah. I am." I looked over at Haruhi, who still with Tamaki and the girls. "She's my first and only friend here in Japan. We went to the same school, but we never hung out. She lives in the apartment next to me, though, so I would go over to hers after school and she'd help me with my homework."

"I see. So, you were able to get into Ouran Academy because of Haruhi's tutoring." He said, more of a statement than a question.

"Yes. I wouldn't be able to speak as much Japanese as I do if it weren't for her. She would always correct me if I phrased something wrong. I'm still not very good with reading or writing Japanese, though. But Haruhi is teaching me."

I looked over at the Gingers, avoiding Kyoya's inquisitive gaze, and saw that one ginger held the other up so close to their face. I felt like hurling. They shouldn't be doing that! That's... that's... incest! I cringed, looking up to Glasses and pointed to the twins.

"Ah. If you must know, it's their 'Brotherly Love' act. Surprisingly, it brings in quite a few customers."

My face felt like it morphed into something more akin to disgust. "Maybe it's a Japanese thing only... 'cause to me... that's gross. In England, we don't do anything like that. Not at all."

"Would you say your immune to their brotherly charms?" Kyoya asked.

I thought about it for a minute, before fervently replying, "Yes."

"Interesting..." Kyoya said before turning to write in his notebook. Despite my curiosity of what was in that notebook, I thought of something else. What made him easier for me to talk to? Ah, well... I'll think about it later.

"You already know a few things about me, so how about you tell me some things about you? Like, your name."

He chuckled. "Oh, I realize that you're new and you don't know any of our names yet. I'm Kyoya Ootori, second year." I silently spoke his name, committing it to memory. "My family runs the Ootori group, specializing in medical. The two Hitachiins over there are Hikaru and Kaoru, first-years. Hikaru is the oldest of the two. Over there, which I'm sure you know his first name, is Tamaki Suoh, second year. His father has spent his investment running Ouran Academy."

I looked over to the doors and saw Mute and Cutesy walk in. Cutesy was on Mute's back and was rubbing one of his eyes.

"Sorry, we're running late..."

"Hello, Honey! Hey, Mori!" A girl said from the couch that Mute and Cutesy were walking towards.

"We've been waiting for you guys! Hi!" Another girl said as Mute put Cutesy down.

"I'm sorry. I was waiting for Takashi to finish his Kendo meeting and I fell asleep..." Once again, the gingers held a sign that had a bunch of writing that I couldn't read in front of Mute, then they held another sign that I also couldn't read. "And I'm still not completely awake."

Apparently, I picked a good nickname for him. All the girls around him squealed in joy, as shouts of "Soooo cute!" could be heard.

Even _I_ couldn't help but agree with the girls! He's soo cute!

Kyoya grunted. Apparently, I'd voiced my thoughts aloud.

"They are Mitsukuni Haninozuka and Takashi Morinozuka, third years. Though everyone calls them Honey and Mori. Honey is a national champion in Karate and Judo. Mori is no slouch, either. He's national champion in Kendo."

"Remind me never to mess with them..." I muttered, and I swear I heard him chuckle lightly.

Then I looked up... and he was gone. I looked around, frantic for no apparent reason, as he was right next to Haruhi. Man... I gotta stop watching PewDiePie.

"Honey-senpai may seem young and childish, but he's a prodigy. And Mori-senpai's allure is his strong and silent disposition." Kyoya informed, black book in hand.

"Uh..." Haruhi said.

I decided I wasn't going to be a slouch anymore and walked over to the two, mainly so I could hear what they were talking about.

"Haru-chan!" Followed by that excited shout, Haruhi was attacked by Honey-senpai as he swung her around. "Hey, Haru-chan, you wanna go have some cake with me?"

"Thanks, but I don't really like... cake." Haruhi said, seemingly dizzy.

"Well, then how would you like to hold my bunny, Usa-chan?" Honey-senpai said, suddenly having a pink stuffed bunny behind him.

"I'm not... into bunnies."

"You're saying you don't like Usa-chan?" Honey-senpai said, holding up the bunny as tears formed in his eyes.

Haruhi looked at the bunny.

"I guess he is kinda cute, huh?" She said leaning towards Usa-chan.

Honey's face, in return, looked like he just figured something out. I smiled, guess Honey-senpai know that Haruhi was actually a girl now.

"Take good care of him, okay?" Honey-senpai said before jumping back to the girls and Takashi, giggling and rolling around on one of the girl's laps.

"You'll realize that the club utilizes each man's unique characteristics to cater to the desires of our guests. Just so you know, Tamaki is number one around here, he's the king. His request rate is 70 percent." Kyoya-senpai said.

"What's the world coming to?" Haruhi muttered.

Next to me, the Gingers held up _another_ sign. In this one, I could only make out "vice-president.' So I guess the rest is Kyoya's name.

"And in order for you to pay off your shared eight million yen debt with us, you two are the Club's dogs until you graduate." He paused at the slightly hurt look on my face. "I'm sorry. I meant our errand people." As if _that_ makes it any better. "You can try to run away if you want to, but just so you know, my family employs a private police force of one hundred officers." He stopped _just_ to push his glasses upwards. "By the way, do you have a passport?"

The twins held up a sign, which I could surprisingly read. "Meaning: You won't be able to stay in Japan."

"Huh?" Haruhi said.

"I do!" I grinned, putting my hand up. He looked at me with that inquisitive gaze, before _something_ clicked within his eyes. Maybe he forgot that I was English? I looked at him meekly.

Luckily, Tamaki interrupted us. "You're going to have to work hard to pay off that debt, my little nerd." Tamaki said, blowing in Haruhi's ear.

Haruhi gasped, standing behind me and gasping for air. She then grabbed the back of her neck and looked at Tamaki. "Please don't do that again."

"You need a makeover! Otherwise, no girl is going to look twice at you."

Haruhi glanced at him before replying, "Yeah, well, I'm not trying to get girls to look at me."

"Are you kidding me? It's the most important thing! You have to learn to be a gentleman and please the ladies! Like me." He informed, holding a rose up to me. I looked at him, then the rose. He had _no_ idea what he had just started.

I quickly turned away and sneezed. About seventeen times. I barely heard Haruhi say, "I just don't think it's that important."

I didn't realize that Honey-senpai was next to me, tugging on my arm. "Tissue?" He asked, holding out a piece of tissue for me. I took it, grateful he offered, and blew my nose.

"Thank you, Honey-senpai." I smiled at him as I put the tissue in my pocket. Hopefully, no one stuffs roses in my face again today.

Next to me, I heard Haruhi muttering something whilst Tamaki was prancing about the room, talking about beauty.

"There's a word to describe people like him... hm... what is it? Aw, man, I wish I could remember that word." Haruhi mumbled.

The Gingers walked past us and looked at Haruhi, watching the concentrated look on her face.

I looked at Tamaki once more. He was saying something about cushions... and pinkies?

"Hm... maybe a pain in the neck?" I giggled a bit. "No... there's something that fits him perfectly."

"But above all else, Haruhi, you must remember how effective a glance to the side can be." Tamaki babbled.

"Huh." Haruhi's fist hit the palm of her hand. "I got it."

"Oh, did I strike a chord?" Tamaki inquired at the same time Haruhi said, "Obnoxious."

Tamaki's eye twitched and he was suddenly in a corner I like to call, the Emo Corner.

"Uh, I'm sorry Tamaki-senpai."

The Gingers laughed and each placed an elbow on Haruhi's head. You know, I'm starting to feel a little out. They're hogging Haruhi all to themselves.

"You're a hero, alright." Hikaru, the older sounding one said.

"But he is a pain in the neck..." Haruhi grumbled. "I'm sorry, senpai. But your lesson did strike a small chord with me."

That was enough to get Tamaki up. "It did?" He held out his hand towards Haruhi, as if he had more to say. "Then let me teach you more, my friend."

Bipolar, or what?

"Well, he got over that quickly." Haruhi said.

"Boss?" Kaoru asked.

"Call me King!" Wow... how conceded.

"You can teach him the basics of hosting..." Kaoru said.

"...But he's not going to get very far with the ladies if he doesn't look the part, you know. He's not exactly hose club material but... maybe if we took off his glasses it would help." Hikaru said, and as soon as he actually _looked_ at Haruhi, his face was priceless. He looked ultra-surprised.

"Hey! I need those! I used to have contacts, but I lost them on the first day of school." Haruhi said, and by now all the other hosts have gathered around. Tamaki soon came charging up and moved the Gingers out of the way.

Tamaki snapped his fingers. "Hikaru! Kaoru!"

"Got it!" They said simultaneously, taking Haruhi by the arms and through a set of doors. "Kyoya, my hair stylist!" Kyoya already had the mobile phone out, quickly dialing numbers.

"Mori-senpai, go to the eye-doctor and get him some contact lenses." Mori ran off out of the door.

"What about me, Tama-chan?" Honey-senpai said, that adorable smile on his face and chocolate brown eyes only adding to his cuteness.

"Honey-senpai..." Tamaki looked as if he were trying to decide something.

"Yes, sir!"

"You... go have some cake." Tamaki finally managed to say.

"It's just us, Usa-chan." Honey-senpai mumbled, "Everyone else said they were too busy." He sat at the table with his bunny depressingly.

"I'll join you, Honey-senpai." I smiled, pulling up a chair beside him and watching as the happy glow came back to his face.

* * *

"Um, Senpai?" Haruhi asked from the make-shift changing rooms, which had a not saying "changing rooms" on it, or so I was told by Honey-senpai.

"Aren't you done changing, yet?" Tamaki said in a sort of bored tone.

Haruhi pulled back the curtain and revealed herself.

I gotta say, she looked _so_ much better than she did before. Her hair styled, her face visible because of her contacts, and she wasn't wearing the jumper that didn't fit her properly. She looked so smart.

Now why wasn't I getting a makeover? Oh yeah, 'cause I'm a _girl_. Sorry, I didn't think that the Host Club was sexist! Whatever... don't listen to me, I'm starting to sound a bit too selfish right now.

"Are you sure it's okay for me to keep this uniform?" Haruhi asked.

"Cute! You're as pretty as a girl!" Tamaki said, tears pouring down his face.

…

Seriously? It's almost too obvious!

"Haru-chan, you look so cute!" Honey said.

"If we had known how you really look-" Hikaru started.

"-We would have helped you out sooner." Kaoru finished.

"Who knows?" Kyoya said. "Maybe he'll draw in some customers." You can just _tell_ that Kyoya knew Haruhi was a girl, yet he went along with it... why?

"You know, that's just what I was thinking!" Tamaki shouted.

"Bullcrap." I muttered. Almost all of the hosts, including Haruhi, jumped. I guess they forgot I was there... like people always do.

"Our errand boy is moving up the ranks. Starting today, you are an official member of the Host Club! I will personally train you to be a first-rate host. If you can get one hundred customers to request your service, we will completely forget about your eight million yen debt for the both of you!"

"A host?" Haruhi said , panicked. We glanced at each other simultaneously.

One hundred customers? Looks we're going to be out of the Host Club Soon.


	2. Starting Today, You are a Host!- Part 2

"So, tell me, Haruhi. Do you have any hobbies? What do you like to do?" A girl asked.

"I'm curious- what kind of products do you use on your skin? Another asked.

"Yes! It's so pretty!" The third exclaimed.

I was sat against the back of Haruhi's chair. Well, I was hiding from the Host Club. If Haruhi could pay off our debt, I wouldn't have to do a thing. Plus, I didn't particularly want to be dressed up, as I've seen those twins eyeing a particular Vegas show girl outfit. No way was I going to wear that. _Ever._

"I can't do this anymore..." Haruhi muttered. "I have no idea what I'm supposed to do!"

"So why did you join the Host Club, Haruhi?" The girls asked.

Gosh, Haruhi. Run. **Run.** These girls are scary!

"Uh..." She mumbled. I decided she needed a little motivation.

"Haruhi, all you have to do is get one hundred customers to request you and they'll forget about our debt." I whispered. "Just talk about your mum, or something!"

"I know just the story." Haruhi muttered after a second.

"I see. Your mother was sick and passed away ten years ago. Who does the chores around the house?" Otaku number one asked.

"Oh, I do them myself." Haruhi smiled. "My mother taught me. She was an amazing cook." I looked down at my hands. I often wondered what it would have been like to meet Haruhi's mum. She was often brought up whenever I was over at Haruhi's house, and I would always see the same small picture of her. She was a very pretty lady.

"And when she went to the hospital, she left me all kinds of great recipes. It was fun to create each dish. Especially when they turned out well, and it made me happy to see my dad enjoy it. I've had a hard childhood, but Dad and I have managed to make it through okay."

"So, er..."

"Is it okay if tomorrow-"

"We request to sit with you again?" The tree asked.

"Yeah! I'd really appreciate it, ladies." Haruhi said.

"Why is he so popular?" Tamaki asked, watching Haruhi intently.

"He's a natural." I heard Kyoya-senpai say. I didn't bother listening to what they had to say, really. What time is it, anyway?

I looked out from behind Haruhi's chair and looked to the clock tower.

"Shit!" I almost yelled (although if I did, I imagine Kyoya wouldn't be too happy with me) as I scrambled to get up from my seat on the floor. On the way out, I hastily grabbed my shoulder bag and ran out the door. I was going to be late, and then they'll never let me in. I only get to see her once a week, and what if today's one of those days she actually remembers me?

I was running as fast as I could down the streets, turning every corner sharply and almost knocking a few heads on my way here. I panted for breath in front of the small building, and headed inside.

I pushed open the door and was greeted by the ever-present smell of anesthetics and chlorine. I walked up to the woman behind the desk.

"Am I-" I wheezed, "-too late to visit?"

"No. You got here just in time! Any later and I would have had to refuse entry."

I sighed in relief.

"I'll have to ask, who are you visiting?" The receptionist asked, typing something into her computer.

"Grace Smith." I smiled. The woman typed something else (probably the name) into the computer, then stood up.

"Of course. You can go right ahead. Room Eight." She smiled at me.

"Thank you." I smiled in return, turning and walking down the corridor. I stood in front of her all-too familiar room, and couldn't help but feel a sense of dread as I opened the door and walked into the room. "Hey... Mum."

I walked back into the Club room calmly, hoping no one would notice me. Well, it was more like I sneaked back here. I was only gone for about twenty-five minutes, and I don't think anyone noticed.

That was, until, I heard a voice from the other side of the room.

"_Tori-chan!_" Honey-senpai exclaimed, overjoyed. "Why did you leave us?" His joyous attitude turned a bit sad, making me feel the tiniest bit of guilt.

"Um... I-I didn't leave. I h-had to take care of something." I looked towards Haruhi. She knew what I left to do.

Haruhi, understanding the predicament I was in, rounded up all of the Hosts, huddling in front of me.

"Guys, don't ask why she leaves." Haruhi whispered.

"Well, why not!?" Tamaki whispered rather loudly. "She's in debt to the Host Club! She shouldn't be able to just run off without asking!"

"Seriously, Tamaki-senpai. The school allows her to go out of the grounds during school hours to do what she has to do. Just leave her alone, okay?" Haruhi said.

I moved away from the group and towards the window, resting my head on the glass as I looked down at the gardens. A lone tear ran down my face, making me lose focus on their conversation. I didn't want to hear it anymore. I told my self I wouldn't cry- not here, anyway.

"C'mon, Tori. Let's go home." Haruhi said minutes later as the Host Huddle was dissolved. I looked up at her, quickly rubbing the tears from my eyes.

"S-sure." I smiled at her sadly. We quickly waked out of the club room and began our walk home.

"So, how did it go?" Haruhi asked. Always the one to be blunt.

I smiled a bit at that, before it turned into a sniffle. "Well, it wasn't like normal. Actually, I would have preferred for her to not remember me at all." I looked up at Haruhi. "She said that she recognized me."

"Tori, that's great!" Haruhi said, but her smile died when she saw I wasn't happy.

"She didn't know that I was her daughter, though." I looked down at my feet. "All she could remember of me is that I came to visit her every week. _Nothing_ else. _Nothing_ of before the accident."

An uncomfortable silence loomed over us for a while, before I decided to break it.

I wiped away the last remnants of my tears and those that stained my cheeks before asking, "But, anyway, are you still going to teach me to read some more Japanese tonight?"

"Sure! Would you like to come over for dinner?"

"You know I do." I grinned at Haruhi. I was grateful that I even had a friend. I was even more grateful that my friend was such a good one.

Haruhi and I were walking down the corridors of the Academy, on our way to the Host Club in a comfortable silence, until...

"Hey..." Haruhi started. "What happened to my bag?"

I thought about for a minute, before suggesting, "Maybe you left it back in class?" I looked at the window for no particular reason, before spotting something slightly disturbing. "Or maybe not."

Haruhi looked at what I was pointing at, crudely whispering, "Are you kidding me?" She put both her hands on the window, looking down at her undoubtedly soaked school bag. "But how did that happen? I didn't think there were bullies at this school. Hm... guess they're everywhere."

I had a sneaky suspicion to who it was...

Haruhi and I sprinted through the many halls, trying to get to Haruhi's bag before it could get any more damaged. Not even a few seconds into the run, we ran into one of Tamaki's customers.

"Oh." She said, making Haruhi and I stop running. "It's you again. I bet you love Tamaki making you over, and fawning over you. It's useless, though. You're always going to be a second-class citizen." She said before running away.

That _bitch_. I guess they really are everywhere.

"I'll meet you in the club room, Haruhi." I said as Haruhi rounded the corner.

I stood in front of the window, watching Haruhi pick up her supplies along with Tamaki (not a stalker!). I guess I could have gone to help her, but Tamaki was there, so she was fine. I smiled, deciding I should leave them alone. I turned around and headed back to the club room.

I looked over from where I was stuck making coffee, for Haruhi and her guest. Why in the world would _that_ girl request Haruhi? Unless...

Seconds later, the table flipped and the chick was screaming and yelling about Haruhi attacking her. I was about to go and slap some sense into her, but thankfully, the Gingers poured jugs of water onto the two of them.

"Why did you do that!?" She demanded. Oh, come on. It's _totally_ not obvious.

Tamaki walked over to the girl, helping her up.

"Do something, Tamaki. Haruhi just assaulted me!" She accused as Tamaki moved her fringe from her eyes.

"I'm very disappointed in you." Tamaki started, this being the first time I've ever seen him, well, serious. "You threw his bag into the pond, didn't you?"

"You don't know that. Do you have any proof that I did?" She defend, poorly, might I add.

"You know, you are a beautiful girl... but you aren't classy enough to be our guest, dear. If there's one thing I know, Haruhi is not that kind of man."

If I could always see Tamaki like this, I think I could actually like him. Heck, I think I actually like him now.

"Why, Tamaki,-" She said, running off. "You idiot!"

"Hmm..." Tamaki looked at Haruhi. "Now, how am I going to punish you? Because it _is_ your fault, after all." He paused, and his face quickly lighting up as he pointed at Haruhi. "Your quota is now one thousand!"

Oh, I _sooo_ don't like him anymore.

"One. Thou. Sand?" Haruhi muttered.

"C'mon!" Tamaki exclaimed, holding out a hand in front of Haruhi. "I've got high expectations for you my little rookie." He winked at her.

"Huh?"

Kyoya held up a bag and gave it to Haruhi. "This is the only spare uniform we have. Sorry, but it's better than a wet one, am I right?"

"Thanks a lot, guys. I'm going to go get changed." Haruhi informed, looking in the bag as she walked off to the changing rooms.

I stood talking with the twins, telling them how I thought it was her all along, when I saw Tamaki out of the corner of my eye about to go into the changing rooms.

I smiled devilishly, much like the twins. He was going to be in for a surprise.

"Haruhi?" Tamaki called.

"Yeah?"

"So..." He took a gulp of air, "you're a girl?"

"Biologically speaking, yeah." Oh, Haruhi! I love you!

Tamaki started freaking out, and I couldn't help but giggle uncontrollably at his reaction.

"Listen, Senpai, I don't really care whether you guys recognize me as a boy or a girl. In my opinion, it's more important for a person to be recognized for who they are rather than what sex they are."

"Well, isn't this an interesting development." Kyoya said, suddenly appearing next to me. I continued giggling at Tamaki, though.

"O~oh, yeah." The Gingers said.

"Er, you know I have to say, Senpai, I thought you were pretty cool earlier." Haruhi smiled, directing it at Tamaki.

He put a hand to his mouth as his face started to turn tomato red. I laughed even harder.

Kyoya turned to me, saying, "Now, I could be wrong here,-" (for the short time I've known him, he hasn't been wrong _so_ far) "but I think we may be witnessing the beginnings of love here."

I nodded. Those two suited each other rather well- they just didn't know it yet.

"You know, being a host and getting fussed over by a bunch of girls might not be that bad. I wonder how I can pull it off." Haruhi seemed lost in thought before coming to a conclusion. "I've got it! I'll just call everyone dude and bro now." She laughed, and I laughed along with her.

At least _she_ was being optimistic about paying off our debt.


	3. The Job of a High School Host- Part 1

Chapter 2- The Job of a High School Host!

"Ugh." Haruhi sighed, swiftly closing her textbook as I closed my manga. Placing it my bag, I followed Haruhi as she walked out of the library, and we began to run towards the Host Club. "I'm never going to hear the end of it if I show up late."

Amen, Sister.

After a couple minutes of panting, running, tripping, and cussing, we finally reached the Third Music Room. I spent a minute catching my breath, and though I wasn't the most fit in my class, I wasn't the most unfit. I was fairly decent, considering we just came from the opposite side of school, though Haruhi got her breath back a few seconds before I did.

After seeing me nod the go ahead, Haruhi opened the doors, and, once again, a blinding light and rose petals sprung forth. However, when the light faded, Haruhi and I's jaws dropped. What we saw... just, _wow._ It- it was like a tropical paradise!

"What's this?" Haruhi asked under her breath. "Where am I?"

"Welcome!" The Host Club greeted. My eyes were immediately drawn to them- or, more specifically, their topless torsos. Aside from Tamaki, of course, which I was somewhat glad about.

"When I opened the door, the whole place was decked out like a tropical paradise!" Haruhi mumbled. It seems almost as if she's narrating her life... I should try that, sometime. "Can you see this, from heaven Mom? This is the club I was forced to join." Seconds later, a bird landed on her head and squawked, making me giggle a bit.

"You finally made it, Haruhi and Tori. You're both so late!" The Gingers said in unison while Kyoya-senpai pushed his glasses back to the bridge of his nose. He always did that... why!? It was both pointless and unnecessary!

"I could be wrong, but my calendar says it's still early spring." Haruhi stated. She needed to check her calendar...? We just passed a whole load of Cherry Blossoms on our way here!

"Cuddling under a kotatsu table while fearing the cold is nonsense! And besides, the heating system we have is the best." Tamaki informed whilst opening a fan in his hand and striking a pose.

"Ugh." Haruhi scoffed.

"Do you have a problem with how we run our club, Haruhi?" Kyoya-senpai asked, his eyes focused on his black book... again. You know, one of these days I am going to see what he writes in there. One of these days... "Be careful what you say. You still owe us eight million yen, remember?" Way to throw that back in our faces, Kyoya!

My eye twitched. "**Ugh!**" Haruhi grunted as we both remembered how that vase smashed into a million pieces.

Tamaki spread his fan out, capturing our attention. "Gentlemen don't bundle up in bulky clothing. It may be chilly, early spring out there in the real world, but here at the club we want to surprise our chilly little kittens with a warm tropical paradise! Oh, yes!" Tamaki said, his arm suddenly wrapped around Haruhi's shoulders. "We've turned this place into Nirvana! A Balny Tropical Island of everlasting summer!"

"That's funny, 'cause I feel a massive chill right now." Haruhi sarcastically stated. She was obviously irritated with Tamaki's behavior.

"Only those with excellent social standing and those from filthy rich families are lucky enough to spend their time here at the elite private school, Ouran Academy. The Ouran Host Club is where the school's handsomest boys with too much time on their hands entertain young ladies, who also have _way_ too much time on their hands. Just think of it as Ouran Academy's elegant playground for the super-rich and beautiful." Tamaki lectured.

* * *

"What heartlessness! Even with my lustrous skin shining like brilliant ivory, exposed by my Balinese King outfit, I'm not more than a slave before my goddess. I kneel before you, and swear my loyalty." Tamaki said as he held a girl's chin close to his face.

"Tamaki..." She muttered, hearts in her eyes.

"Lucky!" Another girl said, looking at the so-called 'lucky' girl.

"Wow!" The lucky girl said, rocking side to side.

"Oh yes! I almost forgot to mention to you ladies, next week the Ouran Host Club is sponsoring a party."

"We're throwing a party?" I asked as I stopped walking past Tamaki, looking directly at him. Haruhi turned to him, too. Clearly, I wasn't the only one left out here.

"What kind of party is it going to be? Is it going to be formal?" One of the twin's customers asked.

"Yes. In fact, we've rented the school's largest hall." Hikaru (or at least I think it was him...) said. How many halls does this school _have_, exactly!?

"It's the perfect place for dancing." Kaoru stated, his head resting on his hands.

Suddenly, Hikaru pulled Kaoru towards him. "But I really wanted to spend some alone time with _you_, Kaoru."

"Don't be upset, Hikaru. I know exactly how you feel." Kaoru exhaled.

"Oh, wow!" Their customers yelled out whilst screaming some random junk about 'brotherly love.' I almost hurled.

"The guests seem to be even more worked up than they usually are..." Haruhi muttered.

"Showing some skin proves popular with the ladies." Kyoya said, writing in his black book again. Well, _I'll_ say. Even I was having a hard time looking at the Host Club's faces, and I'm _not_ the kind of girl that is constantly drooling over the male anatomy... figuratively speaking. It was rare for me to be like this. Why does Haruhi not react to it at all? Maybe she is, but she could just be a pro at hiding her sexual attractions... maybe that's why people thought she was a guy? Who knows!

"So, are you the one that came up with this tropical paradise idea?

"I have no decision-making authority. All the club's policies have been laid out by the club's King, Tamaki. But, I guess there is no harm in admitting to casually slipping a Bali photo book onto his desk."

It suddenly struck me like fist to the face. This guy is more than just the vice-president – he was more like a puppet master!

"So _he's_ the real brains behind the operation." Haruhi stated as I nodded in agreement.

"Hey, Tori!" The twins called me. I sighed, walking up to them.

"Yeah, yeah. What do you want?" I asked, none too joyously.

"Tsk, tsk. You're wearing a Balinese beach girl outfit, at _least_ look a little bit happy." They said.

I sighed again, forcing a smile. Those two practically shoved me into this outfit, despite my frantic yelling and struggling. They wouldn't let me out of the changing rooms until I was dressed in it. Although, they did threaten to come in and change me themselves if I didn't wear the damn thing. Of course, that was _never_ going to happen, so I had to change. I never really liked wearing crop tops that show my belly, like bikinis, or other things like that. So, I didn't like wearing the... _thing_ I had on.

I was wearing a pinkish-red strapless bikini top on and a white silk skirt that was just wrapped around the top bit of my legs. I would have settled for just that, but the twins came and put an Island flower in my hair, telling me that if that came out of my hair for more than ten seconds, they would make me walk home in this. I had to leave the flower in my hair.

"Yes, Hikaru and Kaoru?" I asked none-too pleasantly.

"Could you get us some drinks?" They asked.

"For the four of you?" I asked, glancing at the twin's guests.

"Duh." They both remarked.

"'Kay." I answered before walking to the bar thing that had all the drinks. I had to prep the drinks all by myself, and after messing the recipe up a couple of times, I returned a few minutes later with the coconut drinks on trays. Practically shoving it in their hands, I gave them the damn drinks and then walked over to the bar again to put the tray back.

"Excuse me, but I think it's time to switch clients." I heard a girl say to Haruhi. I looked over at her table and saw a girl standing there. I faintly recognized her from all the times that she's sat with Tamaki.

"Oh, I'm sorry. You must be my next appointment, Miss..." Haruhi trailed off, looking up at the girl.

"My name is Kanako. Kanako Kasugazaki. You're even cuter than I expected." She said, holding up Haruhi's chin. She must have got that from the time she spent with Tamaki- he tended to do that a lot if you haven't noticed. "I've decided that from now on, you're going to be my new favorite host, Haruhi."

Tamaki appeared in the background, looking as white as a bed sheet.

* * *

I sighed, falling back onto my favorite armchair- the one that I woke up in on my first day in the Host Club. Thank God that I was finally back in my normal clothes! I'm not sure how much I could take of that outfit-and imagine if the twins had hidden it! I mentally thanked myself for hiding them just in case that were to happen.

I wore nothing fancy today- just a thin, red striped sleeveless top, a thin white cardigan, light blue skinny jeans, and a pair of brown knock-off Ugg boots.

"I can't take this anymore." Tamaki said from the window as he ate a bowl of ramen. I guess he was fond of 'commoners' food. I mean, seriously, food's food, right? The yummiest thing in the world _has_ to be peach, right?

"Hey, boss!" Hikaru called out, one hand leaning on the table in front of him. "Why don't you stop eating that commoner's ramen and come over here to help us with the party planning?"

"Does it really bother you that Princess Kasuga has taken a liking to Haruhi?" Kaoru asked.

I swung my legs over the arm rest and sat in my usual pose, and I know we were still in school, but it wasn't like these guys were gonna tell me off, right?

I wonder how long it'll take before the boys notice that I'm right here... they tend to completely forget about me like most people. Maybe I'm just too incredibly quiet in everything I did, and I don't do anything wacky that could attract immediate attention to me.

"He shouldn't be surprised. She's had the illness for a while now, hasn't she?" Kyoya said, typing on his laptop. I decided to take advantage of my invisibility powers and snuck behind Kyoya, peeking over his shoulder. He quickly snapped his laptop shut and gave me a pointed look over his shoulder.

"MEEP!" I squeaked, crawling my way back over to my armchair on the other side of the table. Oh, I just _knew _Kyoya and I were going to get along famously.

"What illness?" Haruhi asked.

To be honest, I didn't really care what the club was talking about- all I really cared about was that this Kanako girl like my best friend the most out of the entire Host Club, and Haruhi didn't seem to mind.

So, I did the only thing I could think of right now- I pulled out my sketch book and began to doodle.

About ten minutes later, I was almost finished with my doodle when I felt someone take it from my hands. "Hey!" I shouted, turning around to see Kyoya looking at the picture.

"Very impressive, Victoria." He handed me my sketch book back. "I didn't expect that you'd be this well at art."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "You mean to say that you thought that I was really bad and suckish at drawing, so this is like da Vinci level compared to how you thought it would look?"

Kyoya smiled at me, and I suppressed the chills I suddenly felt throughout my body. "My apologies, Victoria. I didn't mean it like that in the slightest." He smiled at me. It was one of his fake smiles.

I smirked and folded my arms. "Hmph. You know, you really should smile truthfully at people. It's not nice shooting people fake ones."

I got him again. He stood there for a while, silent, then walked off. My smirk got even bigger.

"I assure you, Miss Victoria, that I will not succumb to these childish games you're playing." He said as he walked away.

Now I was the one who was silent. I wasn't playing a game! I just wanted to get back at him, with some smart remark... okay, maybe I _was_ playing a game. But that doesn't make it childish! ...Doesn't it?

"...and knock you back down to errand boy!" I turned towards Tamaki as he stood pointing a finger in Haruhi's face.

Oh, what were they talking about?

* * *

I was watching Haruhi practice dancing with Kanako the very next day, thinking of my own dancing abilities. I didn't know how to dance at all, but I doubt that I would ever need to be able to dance, anyway. Everyone at this dance is probably gonna be a girl, right? And none of the girls will wanna dance with me, just their favorite hosts.

I decided to make sure, anyway.

"Hey, Kyoya?" I asked, walking up to him. "Will I need to be able to dance, too?"

He glanced at me for second, before returning his attention to his laptop. "Well, of course. You _are_ a part of the Host Club, and no matter what position you have here, you will participate in Host Club activities."

I gawked at him. "B-but," I stuttered, "there's not going to be any guys there... w-will there?"

"Well, of course." Kyoya pushed his glasses further up his nose. "This isn't just a girls only event. This is an open invitation to _everyone_, including the male population. So, you're going to need to learn how to dance." The room's light hit his glasses at that very moment, giving him a sort of sinister appearance.

I looked at him in horror, battling with my conscience about running away from the Host Club. I was _barely_ managing being around six guys, knowing just enough about them to consider them near- friends! And now I learn that I'll have to dance with other dudes that I don't know at all! Please... someone shoot me now...

"I-I... I don't know the first thing about dancing, though! I-I've never danced formally before! I've never really dance before casually!" I argued. Trust me, a clumsy person such as myself dancing? No way, Jose. I can almost guarantee I'm going to break a leg... literally.

"Then I suppose that you had better learn before the dance begins." Kyoya stated, walking off. I was grounded where I was, my mouth wide open and my left eye twitching.

"Oh, my! This is the new tea set, isn't it? It's Ginori." Kanako said.

"Ginori?" Haruhi asked.

"You have a keen eye, mademoiselle. In fact, we just received them yesterday. We decided it was about time for the Club to update its tea sets."

"I see..." Kanako said, stroking the cup carefully, "what a pretty color. Lovely."

"You must really be into tableware, huh?" Haruhi said, smiling.

"N-not really! No, of course I'm not! Whatever would give you that idea?" Kanako panicked. ...Really? Wow.

"She obviously knows a lot about it," Haruhi mumbled. "Why would she lie?"

The door opened not long after, revealing a delivery boy of some sort.

"Hello? I'm here with the new tea cups you ordered." The boy called out, making Kanako gasp.

Okay, something's going on here...

"Ah, thank you very much." Kyoya said, greeting the newcomer. "Every item that you've chosen for us has been extremely popular with the ladies. I'm quite impressed."

"Well, that's good to hear." The guy said. My shyness crept up on me once more, and I hid behind a pillar, poking my head to get a better view of the conversation.

"So, do you sell tea sets?" Haruhi asked, walking towards him and Kyoya.

"No. I'm just a regular student. Can't you tell by the uniform?" He questioned, passing the box to Haruhi as she looked at the top of it.

Kanako laughed. "Oh, Haruhi. You're so funny." She laughed again. "I can't blame you for not knowing, after all. He doesn't really look like an heir to a first class company." She said, turning around.

Tea set guy gasped.

"First class company?" Haruhi asked.

"His family's business." Kyoya explained, though I didn't bother listening to the random information. I was too busy looking at what Tea set guy was doing, as he was just staring at Kanako.

"...don't you, Suzushima?" Kyoya finished.

"You think?" Suzushima said, breaking the eye contact with Kanako, who had now had her back to him. "I've still got a lot to learn, but thank you."

"Aren't you leaving next month to study abroad in England?" Kyoya asked.

As soon as Kyoya mentioned England, I fell over from my spot behind the pillar. Oh, how I missed home sometimes. I quickly recovered from my momentary home-sickness, stood up, and peeked around the corner again.

"Yes, I am. Well, I'd better go now." Tea guy said, walking back out the doors.

"So, are you enjoying the Host Club?" Tamaki asked, suddenly at Kanako's table.

"I get the feeling you and that guy are kinda close." Haruhi stated as she walked over to Kanako.

I would have listened to more, but the twins came up behind me and jabbed me in my sides. I squeaked, wriggling away from them as they grinned mischievously, the sort of smile that I fear intensely... and then they suddenly disappeared. I don't know what just happened, but I don't care! I turned around a minute later, hearing Tamaki say something.

"Alright, everyone." Tamaki said, taking a few needless steps forwards. I made my way over to the group so I wasn't left out. "We'll have to work on our strategy."

"Which one?" Kyoya, the Twins, Honey, and Haruhi asked.

"Men! It is our responsibility as members of the elite Ouran Host Club to make every girl happy!"

Surrrreee. Then you should forget about Haruhi and mine's debt then... oh, wait. No, you won't.


	4. The Job of a High School Host! Part 2

"It is so good to see you all here tonight, my little lambs. The Ouran Host Club would like to bid you welcome!" Tamaki said as a beam of light shone down on him. I rolled my eyes, watching him be over-dramatic. The chandeliers then turned on, revealing the huge crowd of girls in the hall. I found only five or ten boys in the crowd, thank the Lord. Looks like I'm going to have an easy time avoiding them all night.

The band started playing, and the girls applauded. I stood up from my curtsy as the Host Club returned from their bows.

"As always, ladies, the Host Club members are here for your entertainment." Kyoya said loudly, his arms spread wide. "So, we invite you to dance to your heart's content. Based on her dancing skills, one lucky young lady will be chosen as tonight's queen. And the queen's rewards will be a passionate kiss on the cheek from our king." What the hell is passionate about a kiss on the cheek!? Then again, these fangirls will take anything they can get their pampered hands on.

"Good luck to you, my darlings!" Tamaki said.

Girls squealed, some falling to the floor. And I just rolled my eyes.

"Haruhi, show some enthusiasm." The Twins said, looking at Haruhi.

"Well, excuse me, you guys. Sorry." Haruhi said. "I'm not used to this sort of thing. I've only ever gone to the festivals held in my neighborhood park."

"I don't know if you could really consider that a party or not. Well, since you're already here, why don't you get yourselves something to eat?" Kyoya suggested, writing some random junk in his notebook... or at least that's what I think he'd doing, anyway. "We've got quite a spread."

"A spread?" Haruhi questioned. "Will it have fancy tuna?"

"Fan. Cy. Tuna!" Kyoya's pen broke, Honey (who was on top of Mori) looked shocked, the Twins looked fearful, and Tamaki almost fell backwards as if Haruhi had suddenly grown five more arms and was asking for a car to eat or something. Whilst I just stood there in my dress... feeling like there were eyes on me.

Okay, so while the Host Club was being their manic selves, I stood up at the top of the stairs, having a mini-panic attack. In the corner of my eye, I saw a few boys actually looking at me like they wanted to dance with me. I panicked even harder.

I do admit that I look quite pretty, enough for a guy to actually want to dance with me, but not enough to seem like I was over-doing it. In actual fact, Kyoya was the one who got my outfit ready, and in all honesty, I thought that the twins would have dressed me and all, but Kyoya's maids actually helped me. They bought me my dress, styled my hair, put some make-up on me like professionals did, and afterwards... they took pictures of me like I was some sort of model. I'm thinking that Kyoya was trying to use me for some sort of purpose... though, what could it be?

Well, I had to admit, I didn't mind those maids making me look pretty. I had a sparkly navy blue, floor length dress on, it having a few, very short layers of the thin, sparkly blue material sewn on a few centimeters away from the bottom of the fabric, a long strip of darker blue tied just below my bust making a bow behind me, and my dress had a straight neckline that exposed the _tiniest_ bit of cleavage. The dress itself had short leaves, and the bust area was frilled horizontally. I wore a silver ribbon around my neck, sapphire embedded on top of my Eve's apple, that came with a matching bracelet. My hair was tied up elegantly in a bun, my fringe laying down like the usual parting, ending just above my eyes, and at some point a maid had put a sapphire stone in my hair, which was shaped like a calla lily. Oh, and I was wearing small dark blue heels. I felt horribly over-dressed compared to some of the other girls in the room, especially since almost all the girls were wearing light colors.

After the Host Club split away from each other to go and dance with other girls, I immediately had to try and dodge the guys who were at the party.

I was weaving my way through the girls, almost running from the boys, who were _very _persistent. But, that all ended when I ran into- of course- _The Kyoya_.

"Ah, Miss Victoria." He was still in the habit of calling me by my full first name, even after me persisting that he call me Tori. "I guess since you are available now, would you mind dancing with me?"

I glanced behind me, seeing three of the boys who were following me looking at Kyoya in envy. So... is this some kind of ploy to get more customers or something!? On the other hand, I guess dancing with Kyoya is better than dancing with someone I don't know.

"Um... sure." I muttered, hesitatingly taking his outstretched hand. The boys, watching me intently, groaned as they walked off. "Kyoya-senpai, why are you doing this?"

Kyoya almost truly smiled. "Why, can't a friend dance with their friends?" He asked, almost innocently.

I stopped dancing and folded my arms, "No. Why are you doing _this_?" I signaled to the outfit I was wearing, then to the guys who wanted to dance with me.

Kyoya hummed, then put his hand out for me to start dancing with him again, and I guess doing what he indirectly said would make him more likely to answer. "Well, as you have obviously seen, we only serve the female population at our Host Club, and we aren't getting much profit from just the ladies."

Where the hell was he going with this?

"So, I thought it would be more profitable for the club if we expanded out audience to serve the male population of Ouran Academy. That's where you come in. You will serve as the first Host Club's Hostess. You will attract people into the club and draw in some customers for yourself."

"I thought the Host Club was doing well on it's own! You don't need me!" I exclaimed.

"Due to Tamaki's extravagant spending nature, he often goes over the Club's budget... and this time, he's gone a bit overboard." Kyoya glanced at the questioning look in my eyes before saying, "And yes, rich people due have budgets."

"Damn it, Tamaki..." I mumbled. "I can't just be the _only_ Hostess if you're planning on expanding your audience. I can't do that by myself! Even you've got all types, to appeal to everyone! Cool , little Devil , Princely, Lolita, Silent, and now the Natural type! What type am I? The shy one? Wouldn't you need more people? And besides, I would _never_ be able to pull that off! I could never host!"

Kyoya chuckled at my barrage of questions. "But you've already succeed in drawing the eyes of the men at this dance. And don't worry – everything's been taken care of. We do have other Hostesses waiting. They're just waiting for me to open up the club, see how the school will react to the new Hostess Club... and their Queen to show them what to do." Kyoya, by now, wore a smug little grin on his. By queen... did he mean... me?

I continued dancing whilst I stared at him in shock. Fortunately for me – but not for Kyoya – I was a clumsy girl, so I ended up stepping on his foot rather harshly.

I flinched, moving backwards slightly. Even _I_ felt that.

"Um... sorry..." I mumbled.

"That's another ten thousand added to your debt."

"_What!?_" I almost yelled, being lucky I didn't, as it would attract unwanted attention. Note to Self: Make sure to never step on Kyoya.

He chuckled once more before walking off, and I stood there looking at his retreating figure. I _swear_ Kyoya was going to be the death of me.

In the end, all the boys found me and I had danced with every one of them – at least twice. And now, I was dancing with one of them again. I stepped on their feet at least twice each dance, and they would just smile a little and say it was alright, and then we'd continue dancing. Often, they asked me a few light questions and I answered them fully.

I was _supremely _glad that people were going to the French doors, and I saw the Club go there too.

"I'm sorry." I stated. "I must be getting back with my club, and it was nice dancing with you though." I smiled at the guy gently before walking towards the idiot Tamaki and the _true_ devil Kyoya.

"Ladies and gentleman," Tamaki started to say as lights beamed on Kanako and Suzushima. "It is now time for us to begin the final dance of this evening's festivities. The last waltz of the night has been chosen by the Host Club for this couple."

Suzushima let go of Kanako's wrist, turning to face her. He bowed and held his hand out to her, asking sweetly, "Princess Kasuga, may I have this dance?

She gasped and he look up at her, clearly blushing. How cute! Kasuga smiled at him, and now she was the one who was blushing.

She took his hand gently. "Yes."

They started to dance, with everyone watching them. It was all very sweet. Can you tell I've got a bit of a sweet tooth for all things sweet? Peaches, cake, chocolate, sweet and gentle gestures, pale pink cherry blossoms, all those kind of things. It's all about the sweet things in life.

"I love you, Kanako." Suzushima whispered, looking at Kanako like a dude in full blown love. It was just too cute! It was even cuter knowing that only me and Kanako would be able to hear him – me only because of my awesome bat-like sense of hearing (I think I'm Batman...) and Kanako because, well, she's in front of him. But it just made it like ten times cuter to see that he was blushing. "I've always loved you, and I want you to be my wife."

She looked lovingly at him, before replying, "Tonight marks the end of my Host hopping." Well, I guess that was nice! At least coming to this dance was actually profitable, seeing as how I got to see a happy couple together. Then again, to get profit, you've got to take away the things spent from the things earned, and _then_ you get profit.

Let's see... so, I got to see a cute couple finally solve their problems due to the Host Club, and I had finally learned how to dance (not that I could dance, anyway). So, minus the fact that I'm going to have to be leader of a Hostess Club that Kyoya's setting up, which means I'll have to entertain boys... and an increase in my debt all because I stepped on damn Kyoya's foot. So in total... I get zero profit. Nice.

"May this awkward couple be forever blessed!" Tamaki exclaimed, throwing his arms out wide, making Haruhi duck so she wouldn't be whacked in the face.

"And now, we'll announce the Queen of the Ball!" Hikaru started.

"Congratulations to Princess Kanako Kasugazaki!" Kaoru finished.

Both twins had banana peels in their hands, making me narrow my eyes in suspicion, as this could only end badly.

Then, everyone burst into applause. I tore my gaze away from the twins so that I could clap, and when I looked back up, the twin's banana peels were nowhere in sight.

"And now for her reward, a kiss on the cheek by the King!" Hikaru said.

"Are you ready?" Tamaki had the tick face again, and Haruhi could stand up once more.

"Haruhi Fujioka will stand in for Tamaki!" Kaoru said.

Wait...

WHAT!?

Me, Haruhi, and that idiot Boss all looked massively freaked out and surprised.

"Kyoya did say that a little accident towards the end of the night will make the evening more thrilling for everyone." The twins said in perfect unison. Damn them! I'm jealous.

"It's just on the cheek, right?" Aww... how sweet. Suzushima is incredibly nice. "You should accept it. It will commemorate your graduation from host-hopping."

"There's now way that I can kiss her." Haruhi grumbled. Yes! You tell 'em, girl!

"If you do it, we'll cut your debt by one third." Kyoya said, not looking up from his notebook.

NO, HARUHI! DON'T DO IT! WHO KNOWS _WHERE_ THOSE BANANA PEELS THE TWINS HAD DISSAPPEARED TO! IT'S OBVIOUS WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN NEXT!

"Well, it _is_ just a peck on the cheek." Haruhi said.

NOOOOO!

Haruhi began to walk down to Kasuga and Suzushima.

"Hey, you don't think that this is Haru-chan's first kiss, do you?" Honey asked sweetly.

"_What_!?" Tamaki shouted, shocked.

I looked over at Haruhi, who had Kasuga's face in her hands. I just couldn't look, so I put a hand over my face and then looked at the floor.

"Wait! Haruhiiii!" I heard Tamaki yell. Oh, great. Something's going to happen. The next thing I heard was girls squealing. I waited ten seconds before looking up. Yep. I was _so_ right about this. Haruhi had her mouth. How'd I know Tamaki was gonna push her into Kasuga? Because I'm a freakin' psychic. Nah, I'm only joking. But it's just such a Host Club thing to do.

I decided that I'd better just get Haruhi and go, as it was getting pretty late, and it was a Friday night. Guess what that means? Haruhi and I have our own little night where we go out in a open 24 hours shopping mall, trying to see what we can get with just two thousand yen. It's a little game that I used to play with my sister all the time, back when she was actually sticking around with me when we were still in England. And somewhere along the line, it turned into me and Haruhi playing it. Odd, huh?

I smiled at Haruhi and we started to walk our way out of the courtyard and out towards the street. We had to wait at the bus stop for five minutes. Usually, we'd walk to the shopping center but it's almost eleven at night and we'd rather not get attacked or raped or murdered or anything like that. So, we caught the bus like the wimps we were.

That did, however, cause a few people to look at us oddly as we were still dressed up all fancy-like. But, there were only three people on board, so lucky us.

When we got to the shopping center, we went around all the shops, and I was able to find some pretty good things. I managed to snag a copy of the Soul Eater game that was only sold in Japan, which meant that I couldn't get back home in England. I also bought a copy of the Hetalia game that also didn't quite make it to England, so both will help me keep my sanity and help me with my Japanese reading.

Haruhi was plain and boring as always, managing to buy only a basic pair of navy jeans and a pair of black high-top converse (that _I_ convinced her to buy). She always just wore whatever was around, so she never had a preference. I always tried to get her to dress more girl-like... maybe if she would have listened to me, then we wouldn't be in debt to the damn Kyoya!

We eventually made our way to my, well, my sister's, apartment. We both were just laying on my bed (no futon, thank you very much), the lights being out as we munched on some Doritos that I had taken from my stash of English foods (surprisingly, they didn't have _anything_ like Doritos in Japan, can you believe that!?) and we were watching the You Tuber PewDiePie scream like a girl at the horror game Amnesia, though the volume was on its lowest setting. Haruhi took English classes, so she was able to understand most of what he was saying. We weren't paying much attention to it, even though I loved PewDiePie's Amnesia play-throughs so much.

"You'll never guess what happened to me at the party." I said as I tied my hair up into a ponytail, putting the dress I had worn on a hangar and hanging it on my wardrobe door, pretty sure that Kyoya would want it back. I was wearing my favorite pink, long sleeved button up pajama shirt and matching bottoms with white kitten slippers.

"What happened? Is it worse than being forced to kiss another girl?" Haruhi said, chuckling. Haruhi had borrowed one of my grey and black tees with a black star in the center, and she also wore a pair of black cotton shorts with them, too.

I laughed with her. "Almost as bad." I sighed as I fell back on my bed. "Apparently, I'm now the President of a brand-new Hostess Club with other Hostesses that just ready to open the damn club. Kyoya wouldn't even tell me who these girls are! But the worst thing is, is that I'll have to face people I dont know- boys. Alone. Meep!" I squeaked.

"That's surprising. Even for Kyoya-senpai." Haruhi muttered.

"Anyway, you know how you Host Club have all types and stuff like that? I'm betting that this Hostess Club will have to have types, too. So, what I'm asking is, what would my type be?" I inquired, cocking my head to one side curiously. It had been on my mind ever since Kyoya dropped the Hostess bomb on me.

"Hmm..." Haruhi hummed. "I'd have to say that you're the... shy and caring type." Haruhi said.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, you're shy around boys, though since you're a bit clumsy, you always care about them when they're hurt."

"Huh..." I mean, I had to admit, that did sound like me. "What puzzles me is who the hell are these mystery Hostesses?"

"Me too." Haruhi said, and I don't remember anything after that. We must have passed out somewhere on my single bed or something with Amnesia playing in the background. Wow... how stupid are we, eh?


End file.
